Sincerely, The Girl You Used To Know
by Luna Nightfall
Summary: Not every story has a happy ending...
1. Sneak Peak

**Sneak Peak**

Edward's POV:

(When he is hiding Bella's stuff before he leaves.)

My decision to leave was a hard and fast one. In a split second, the issue I knew I would have to face, haunts me before my eyes. She will never be safe with me, I will always be taking risks, risks I can't afford to take.

Her house has reached my view and her window holds a small opening. This is my last chance. Her room is the same as always, never changing, like me. I found her photo album next to her computer, with in the first page the pain of my decision increased, it was a picture of us together folded in half my side up. Bella doesn't see herself in me, she never has, all she see's is me.

I cannot stop her from what she deserves anymore.

Bella's POV:

(After he has been gone. (further in the story)

He didn't come after me Alice, but I think I found someone who would...

(THERE'S YOUR OFFICIAL SNEAK PEAK! LET ME KNOW HOW YOU LIKE IT! AND PLEASE ADD ME AS A FRIEND IF YOU WANT TO BE UPDATED!)


	2. Chapter 1: Different

**Chapter 1: Different**

_It's time for healing time to move on_

_It's time to fix what's been broken too long_

_Time make right what has been wrong_

_It's time to find my way to where I belong_

_There's a wave that's crashing over me_

_All I can do is surrender_

_[Chorus]_

_Whatever you're doing inside of me_

_It feels like chaos somehow there's peace_

_It's hard to surrender to what I can't see_

_but I'm giving in to something heavenly_

_Time for a milestone_

_Time to begin again_

_Reevaluate who I really am_

_Am I doing everything to follow your will_

_or just climbing aimlessly over these hills_

_So show me what it is you want from me_

_I give everything I surrender..._

_To..._

_[Chorus]_

_Time to face up_

_Clean this old house_

_Time to breathe in and let everything out_

_That I've wanted to say for so many years_

_Time to to release all my held back tears_

_Whatever you're doing inside of me_

_It feels like chaos but I believe_

_You're up to something bigger than me_

_Larger than life something heavenly_

_Whatever you're doing inside of me_

_It feels like chaos but now I can see_

_This something bigger than me_

_Larger than life something heavenly_

_Something heavenly_

_It's time to face up_

_Clean this old house_

_Time breathe in and let everything out_

I can't say I love my life, I can't say everything is okay anymore because then I'd be lying. I only so many words can I describe this hole that continues to take presence in my heart, it's taken my idea of life and ripped it in half. As I look past these few years, I've never seen forever without the name Cullen attached at the end. These Past few days made me realize, that I don't know what I want anymore. Don't ask why I am acting like this, because I myself don't know who Bella Swan is anymore. Any danger is a figure in the past and for once being alone is different.

Sincerely, the girl you used to know.

As I stare at the computer screen my eyes linger on the last word. Different. I am different now.

For 4 years I have always said that my life is nothing without Edward, I always felt like I was standing on one leg and that Edward is my second half, my stable place to be, but can I stand on my two feet without him? I thought what I would want would never change, I would never change, I want to be able to stand next to Edward and feel like that is where I have always belonged.

Something shiny caught my attention and I looked down at my hand. Elizabeth Masen's ring lay silently on my third finger. The wedding is.. postponed until my grief cloud passes over and yet I still sit here as Bella Swan.

Tears that seem to be present in my eyes all the time, won't seem to come anymore.

I got on my feet and walked over to my desk where my phone sat on its back. I waited, seconds later Alice's ringtone that she picked out began to play.

Hey, don't write yourself off yet

It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on

Just try your best, try everything you can

And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away

It just takes some time

Little girl you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey, you know they're all the same

You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in

Live right now, yeah, just be yourself

It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else

For once it did make me happy.

"Alice before you say anything or think anything we both know what you called for so I'll be on the front steps in 2." I whispered and hung up the already dead phone.

This has to be the right thing to do.

When I finally saw my front lawn empty I sighed. Charlie died a week ago of a heart attack, it was unstoppable and unexpected and now irreplaceable.

"Bella," Alice stood a few feet from the steps, I reached out and she took my hand in her's.

"You didn't let anything out right?" I just stared at the still empty space in front of me, the hole in my chest throbbed.

I haven't seen very many people since Charlie's passing. I ignored any phone calls, denied any visitors, and kept my windows shut. I've been an empty shell, things are bad again, and the way I remain doesn't not include a cold hand wrapped around mine.

She sighed, "No. No I didn't." She sounded as if she could cry.

"Thanks."

"Bella what about Edward?" She looked at me. I couldn't bring myself to look back.

"I don't know."

"What about me?" She whispered.

"You're my best friend." I squeezed her hand still staring at where Charlie's car should have been.

"You can't leave!" She exploded, and appeared in front of me, taking over my sight.

"I'm not leaving, I just need to get away for a while." I said, "Do you want to go with me?"

Her face gleamed in excitement, "Go pack, I'll be back in 20 minutes. I'll tell Edward to come once were gone, yes I know what your going to do, and we'll go... Paris? Really?" I nodded "Okay, good choice, it's wet over there now." She smiled at me one last time, kissed my cheek and disappeared.

At that I ran in the house.

I managed to shove all of my clothes into two duffle bags. A few minutes later, I finished packing I walked over to my window and shoved it as high as it would go, I only had one more thing to do, the only thing that has been on my mind.

_I'm sorry,_

_I need time to think._

_Sincerely, the girl you used to know_.

I looked down at the paper trying to figure out how all of this could have gone so wrong.

One tear slipped off my cheek and landed on the note as I placed it next to to my ring on the middle of my bed.

Alice's POV:

I was back at the house within 5 minutes. I wrote two separate notes, one for my family and one for Jasper.

I left them on my bed and let down my shield only enough for Edward to hear me say,

Be at Bella's house, her window will be open, tell everybody to come to my room after I leave.

Edward's POV:

Alice's shield went back up and she was gone. I told everybody's Alice's request and left to Bella's house. I'm glad she is finally letting me see her, after her father died I wasn't sure how long it would take, I know I told her, her family will die and she knew but I had no idea that she would take it the way she did.

Alice was right her window was open and her familiar scent hit me. I ran up the wall only to hear dead silence, she was gone. I knew it was there I just wanted to deny it, Bella's engagement ring sat in the middle of her bed with a note that read,

_I'm sorry,_

_I need time to think._

_Sincerely, the girl you used to know._


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: 

_I settled down_

_A twisted up frown_

_Disguised as a smile, well_

_You would have never known_

_I had it all_

_But not what I wanted_

_Cause home/hope for me_

_Was a place uncharted_

_And overgrown_

_You'd make your way in_

_I resist you just like this_

_You can't tell me to feel_

_The truth never set me free_

_So, I did it myself_

_You can't be too careful anymore_

_When all that is waiting for you_

_Won't come any closer_

_You've got to reach out a little more_

_More_

_More_

_More, more_

_Open your eyes like i opened mine _

_It's only the real world._

_A life you will never will know_

_Shifting your weight_

_To throw off the pain_

_Well you can ignore it_

_But, only for so long_

_You look like I did_

_You resist me just like this_

_You can't tell me to heal_

_And, it hurts remembering_

_How it felt to shut down_

_Can't be too careful anymore_

_When all that is waiting for you_

_Won't come any closer_

_You've got to reach out a little more_

_More, More, More, more_

_The truth never set me free_

_The truth never set me free_

_The truth never set me free_

_So, I'll do it myself_

_You can't be too careful anymore_

_When all that is waiting for you_

_Won't come any closer_

_You've got to reach out_

_Can't be too careful anymore_

_When all that is waiting for you_

_Won't come any closer_

_You've got to reach out_

_More, More, More, More, more_

For weeks Charlie was sick, pale, fragile, everybody had assumed he had a virus; he even began to believe it. After dinner one night there had been a crash and I found Charlie lying on the floor, he couldn't breathe right, the paramedics - not tell me anything - took him the emergency room, His surgery took 4 hours, I knew when I found him on the floor, broken glass and all that it was not a sickness. It was only a few minutes afterwards that the news had come.

"Bella," Carlisle stood at the door with his hands together. His eyes were lowered but without one look he didn't have to say the words that haunted me the moment I found him on the floor. It was over, Charlie was gone. "Charlie's heart was in such bad condition, he didn't have enough to have in him to heal." He bowed his head and whispered his apologies before disappearing back through the doors.

I tried my hardest to deny every word he had said. As much as I tried I knew no matter what I did there was no turning back. It was only a matter of time before the pack and the Cullen's showed up. Jacob got to me first, and Edward let him.

"Come one honey, let's get you home," Jacob pulled me into his arm, I didn't refuse.

The ride home seemed to be a few seconds long; Jacob helped me in side, but didn't leave me alone.

The pack stopped by to pay a visit, bringing their apologies and memories along with them; I allowed them to stay for dinner that Emily made. When I felt it coming, the sting in my eyes, the clog in my throat, Jacob let everybody out. I had made it to my bedroom when Jacob found me and held me all night long, not saying one word. We stayed like that, crying and clinging to each other, I felt like I would fall into a black hole if I let go.

I stayed in my room for the most part, sitting in front of the window occasionally seeing a shadow in the forest which lead me to shutting my blinds.

There were constant knocks at the door, many rings of the phone and thousands of taps on my window at night but I never bothered with any of it. I just listened to my iPod that Charlie had got me for graduation and allowed Jacob to shoo away anyone will to see or talk to me.

….

"Bella were here!" Alice squealed in excitement. I had promised her I would do anything she wanted but Alice suggested we got to the Hotel for the night.

The next day we spent hours going in and out of stores with Alice constant shoving me into dressing rooms with more clothes in my room than I've ever had. Honestly I think that was the most fun I've had with Alice in a long time.

Our last day was planned in because it decided to be sunny and Alice wanted me to explain what happened to me.

"I guess I was trying to figure out how everything that was so right could go so wrong. And how I was ever going to get past the emptiness that continued to grow."

"Bella, I am so sorry." She could cry, but instead she lowered her gaze. "We know what you're going through, it's what we all had to live through, it's the constant reminder that no matter what happens you will get through this, if it takes years or centuries, you will." She said.

"I need to grow on my own, stand with my own strength, I need to stop fighting the wrong ways and settle on the rights. I need to stand on my own without Edward or Jacob." She flinched at the name. "I need to live the live I need to live to get through this." I was talking to myself but Alice nodded.

Alice froze mid nod, her eyes became distant. "Alice, Alice what's wrong? What did you see?" Her color came back and her eyes blink in amazement.

"What was THAT!" She yelled, this girl is one of the smartest people in the world, she knows everything about everything, and her visions tell her what she seeks, but when she has no idea what is what, something is dangerously wrong.

"What happened?" I was getting anxious now.

"It was just a flash but, I think it was a full blown vampire but it had a heart beat and it was pregnant, I didn't see the face but this defiantly wasn't normal." Her eyes grew bigger and she stood up.

"I need to call Carlisle." She was on the other side of the room in a flash, phone in hand.

She was talking so fast I only caught a small part, "are you expecting any visitors?"

Alice shook her head and explained her vision. "I've never seen anything like it before, it was unreal."

"We are leaving right now we'll be home by 2 o'clock tomorrow." She was about to close the phone but her face grew sour. "Put him on," she waited and listened. I played with my hair spinning it around my finger off and on. I know who she's talking to but decided not to listen. Alice looked at me occasionally searching for some kind of reaction.

She was already packing all our things, we even had to by a new suit case for all the extra clothes we had bought. She was going back and forth until everything was already in the car she even ended up carrying me to the car. I fell asleep when we finally got on the plane; Alice had to pull a few strings to get on the earliest plane. And when I say a few strings I mean that poor guy will never be the same.

Before I knew it Alice was driving down the familiar road, the trees curved over perfectly shading us from the rain. It was then I realized where we were. Alice stopped in front of the house and waited for my response, I held out my hand for the keys, she handed them to me and jumped out pulling me to the driver's seat.

"Thanks Alice, I needed that." I smiled, and then I floored it. The car shook with excitement as I kept driving not knowing were exactly to, but with no intention of slowing down.

Without actually seeing what was in front of me Edward was inches from the car forcing me to swerve, I wasn't able to slow the car down until the tree was dead in the middle and my car was ripped in half.

I gasped, my vision slowly seem to dissipate until I found myself outside of my car staring down at my hand that suck outside of my door.

_**I hope you all liked it! Please comment and add me as a friend if you want to be updated!**_


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

_I am outside_

_And I've been waiting for the sun_

_And with my wide eyes_

_I've seen worlds that don't belong_

_My mouth is dry_

_With words I cannot verbalize_

_Tell me why we live like this_

_Keep me safe inside_

_Your arms like towers_

_Tower over me, yeah_

_'Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence?_

_And oh, the promise we adored_

_Give us life again_

_'Cause we just wanna be whole_

_Lock the doors_

_'Cause I'd like to capture this voice_

_It came to me tonight_

_So everyone will have a choice_

_And under red lights_

_I'll show myself it wasn't forged_

_We're at war, we live like this_

_Keep me safe inside_

_Your arms like towers_

_Tower over me_

_'Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence?_

_And oh, the promise we adored_

_Give us life again_

_'Cause we just wanna be whole_

_Tower over me_

_Tower over me_

_And I'll take the truth at any cost_

_'Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence_

_And oh, the promise we adored_

_Give us life again_

_'Cause we just wanna be whole_

When I was little, that's all I was: little. I wasn't a kid, just because I was one didn't mean I acted like one. By the age of twelve I was capable of running and owning a house on my own. My mom always told me that she never wanted to grow up, so that's exactly what she did. I was the mom and she was the child. When I was seventeen my mom changed, she found a man who made her happy and grow up all at the same time, she didn't need me anymore, and so I left. The more I left the more she grew up, so eventually I moved away, and I was happy.

I suck in a breath. I wait for some kind of relief, the reminder that I am still alive and breathing, but nothing comes. If heaven is where I am, it was a painless process. Fear begins to rise in my chest, I decide to listen to music, and at least I have this here, with me.

"Thank god!" Someone whispered beside me, the fear that I thought was safely tucked away regain conciseness and I ran. It's not like I made much progress, a pair of footsteps kept close to mine, until I heard a voice, the voice that was once mine.

I was quick on my feet not pausing long enough to leave a small dent in the earth were for the slightest second I put pressure. Coming to a sudden stop I jump up to a branch and climb, flipping and spinning laughing and smiling. But eventually reality washes over me, I'm not dead, I'm not human, I'm not alive.

"Bella," someone whispered. I looked up to meet a pair of curious strange gold eyes. A man with bronze colored hair and pale skin, was taking slow deliberate steps toward me, moves that I mimicked backwards.

"Who are you?" I whispered still hearing that strange voice come out of my mouth. The man came to a sudden stop.

"You don't remember?" he said and his eyes grew red around the edges.

I suppose many women would be quite drawn to this man, he was tall handsome, and knew how to hold himself in a confident way, all things I seem to lack.

"All I know is my name is Bella Swan, my father died 3 weeks ago of a heart attack, I ran away from everything, I ran away from love…" I trailed off and a flash of memories flooded my brain.

"I know that my name is Isabella, my father Charlie died of a heart attack, and I know that I have an issue with running away from my problems…" Everything came rushing back at me.

"Yes! Bella!" He ran to me and engulfed me in a hug. I spun around in his arms and grabbed his wrists, in one quick movement his body flew over the top of me and ended in from of me. I held him on the ground by one hand one his throat.

"Who-" I stopped and became Bella again and really looked at this man. "Edward?" I stood up immediately and brushed myself off.

He smiled and was about to say something when I started.

"What has happen to me?" I whisper.

"Bella you were going to die. There was nothing else to do." He said.

"Why didn't you let me?" I said, hurt. "That's what supposed to happen, when you get hurt and the scares are too big to mend, you die."

"I couldn't just let you die Bella."

…

"Bella, Bella, BELLA!" Alice's familiar voice flew into my ears, I shot up but got restrained by wires wrapped around every part of my body.

Whoa head rush, I lie back down. Alice's head sat on the side of my bed.

"What happened?" I asked, Alice's face grew serious.

"You got in a car accident and a tree feel on top of the car." I had to strain to hear her quite words, she seemed to be talking more to herself than me. "You have a broken wrist, four broken ribs and a fractured foot. And a lot of other stuff I suggest you find out about later." I was about to question her but then thought she was probably right, everything is already bad enough no need to add more.

For a moment I took a second to really look at Alice, her usual radiant glow is replaced by a dim gray. She looked like a child, like anything could break her into a million pieces. I couldn't stand the thought.

I looked around at my surroundings and noticed this hospital looks nothing like the one in Forks.

I faced Alice, "Where are we?" I asked worry painted on her perfect face.

"We are in Seattle's hospital the one in Forks didn't have the help you required. You were airlifted…" She said quietly. "I knew you wouldn't want to face Edward especially after everything that happen, I saw how you would've acted if you did. So you're stuck with me." She tried a smile, but it quickly disappeared.

"Bella, do you still want to marry Edward? Let alone become one of us?" She paused and continued. "More importantly do you want to become a Cullen?" She waited her gaze not wavering once.

(Sooo I know it's not my best chapter, but I have good news! When I had written the original sincerely I didn't know where the story was going, I just wrote and that's one of the reason of why I had stopped. The good news is that I know how I want this to end and I like it, so some things are going to change but this is where I feel it should go, sooo I hope you like the chapter and I'll try my best to update tomorrow. Please comment and ADD me if you want to be updated!)


	5. Chapter 4: Closure

Chapter 4: Closure

_I close both locks below the window_

_I close both blinds and turn away_

_Sometimes solutions aren't so simple_

_Sometimes goodbye's the only way_

_And the sun will set for you_

_The sun will set for you_

_And the shadow of the day_

_Will embrace the world in grey_

_And the sun will set for you_

_In cards and flowers on your window_

_Your friends all plead for you to stay_

_Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple_

_Sometimes goodbye's the only way_

_And the sun will set for you_

_The sun will set for you_

_And the shadow of the day_

_Will embrace the world in grey_

_And the sun will set for you_

'Everything happens for a reason.' My grandma used to tell me when I was little, She was the one woman I could really count on for the truth, and when she died when I was 9, everything changed. I've had a lot of things go on in my life to make me believe that, it's just a myth. People can choose to believe that or they can choose to think that it's a load of crap. I tend to stand in the middle of deciding to believe and choosing not to. Things can only go right if you let them. But what if nothing is right and everything is wrong? And what if it can hurt somebody?

Alice's questions had hit me like a ton of bricks, her words were right, I need to decide, and fast before anyone else can be seriously damaged.

No - I crush Edward, I hurt the Cullen's. Alice, Esme, all of them. I could almost feel the pain.

Yes – I make everyone happy, I get the love of my life, and I get what I wanted and more. But will I truly honestly be happy?

Tic, Tic, Tic the clock is about to trick midnight and I didn't get my Cinderella story. My foot never slipped out of a delicate glass slipper, leaving my prince charming with any hope of finding me any hope of finally getting his bride… Either way, it's time to face the music.

"You don't have to answer right now." I flinched in realization that I am not alone. Did I say that out loud?

My thoughts suddenly felt very unsafe. Alice had been mad at me for the last hour and she won't tell me why. "Don't mind me I've just been trying to figure out why your future disappeared when I was looking for the answers to my questions." She looked at me and frowned.

"Alice I," Should stop talking. Once she told me I realized that's what I wanted to do. I needed to see Jacob. Finally get closure and maybe being there I will figure out who I need closure with. Who I need to finally let go of.

The doctor was waiting on results and I sat there impatiently, in hopes that I will get to leave. With the spare time I have because it seems to take so long to find out results I asked Alice if I could have a few moments alone.

"Edward,"

I wrote. There weren't any words to tell Edward, we are two separate worlds right not. That dream changed everything, being a vampire isn't really on the list of things to do right now. I quickly erased and rewrote.

"Jacob,"

His name seem to drag out on the paper. I sat and stared pleading it to please write the words I don't know to say. For what felt like the longest time the paper stayed blank, the pen never moved. It's not that easy, so instead I wrote,

(POV change! You'll know at the end I just didn't what to ruin the dramatic-ness with the change of a POV.)

Alice,

For hours I have looked at this paper wondering who it is that I need to say goodbye to, I don't know if you're ever going to have an answer that you want, you may not be pleased with the only words I can say to you now. I guess you were right I don't see myself clearly but let's be honest when Edward left I changed, I found a part of myself I didn't know I had. I know what ever answer I give its going to hurt someone, I may not even agree with the answer myself at first. But I have to follow my heart. I'm never going to be the same. But I need you to trust me, I'm looking for closure and I can't find it here. I love you Alice and please understand that it's going to take time, and don't take this as a goodbye but as a… I'll let you decide what this is.

Sincerely, the Girl You used to know.

Bella finished the last word and I was already out of my seat running to her room. The white door appeared in front of me, Bella was already gone and her note sat silently in the middle of the bed. My note with my name printed clearly on the top kept running through my head.

(See I told you all from the beginning that this story wasn't going to be happy, maybe it will be towards the end of the story but Please don't hate me!)


End file.
